World’s Worst Pie Crust!

Even calling it pie crust is a huge stretch.  I don’t like calling out recipes that don’t turn out right for me but I checked and double checked myself on this one and I followed the recipe exactly.
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My usual pie crust is made with butter.  I love it, it’s perfect and I have no desire to ever use another.

That being said, I didn’t set out to make a pie crust with this recipe… The actual recipe is for ‘meat hand pies‘ so in order to achieve the best results, I was following the recipe to a “T”.  The only thing I can think that went wrong is that I didn’t chill the shortening first.  I know to do this with my butter crust recipe but since this recipe is different because it’s hand held pies, I thought maybe the flakiness factor would be different (and maybe I’m wrong but I thought the chilled butter made the crust flaky).  The recipe didn’t specify chilled shortening but maybe you’re just supposed to know that?

This crust worked perfectly in the food processor.  I drizzled the ice cold water in just like you’re supposed to and it clumped into a ball just like it’s supposed to.  I took it out, wrapped it in plastic wrap and chilled it.

When I took it out is when things got ugly.  I tried rolling it out but it wouldn’t roll.  It just tore.  I tried several times with no luck so I gave up on the idea of hand held meat pies.  I mashed it into a pie plate.  Literally.  Because that’s the only way I could do anything with it.  I took clumps and pieced it all together until the pie plate was covered.  I put the filling in and then, because there was no way I could cover it, I made it into strips and draped it on top. 

I was pretty proud of myself because even though it was ridiculous dough, I made it work.  The lattice on top wasn’t correct because I didn’t weave it but trust me, that stuff wasn’t going to let me do that!   I went ahead and baked it like normal, thinking regardless of how hard it was to work with, it would still taste decent.

Omg how wrong I was!!!  When I touched the baked dough, it pulverized!  It turned into sawdust all over the place.  It tasted nasty!  I had to pry the top off and then scoop out the meat filling so my family could eat.  (I cooked up some rice to toss the meat mixture on.) (I couldn’t just give them meat filling!)

That was one meal with a lot of transformations… Meat hand pies to pot pie to meat filling with rice!

Does anyone know if this is typical when working with shortening in a pie crust?  Or is that what happens when the shortening isn’t chilled?  Btw, the shortening I used was Crisco Baking Sticks (butter flavor).  I did check the package too and it’s fresh… Good until July 2015! 

Caramelized Onion and Bacon ‘Tart’

Well… not EXACTLY a tart because I don’t have a tart pan… But I tried to make it look like a tart…
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(That’s my attempt at making a pie look like a tart)

This was a great recipe and although it was easy, it took me a while.  I don’t know why either… My pie (tart) crust took no time at all because my husband got me a food processor for my birthday and it takes about a minute to make pie crust with it!!  Best invention ever, even if you only use it for pie crust!  (Oh sorry, I mean tart crust.)

Anyway, the link to the recipe is here.  Basically you cut bacon into 1/2″ pieces and fry them. 
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You take the bacon out of the pan and almost all of the bacon grease but leave a tablespoon because you’ll be frying 4 small onions in that grease.
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You fry them over medium high heat for about 8 minutes & then add some thyme (tablespoon) & salt (pinch).  Then you reduce the heat to medium low and cook them until they’re really brown and soft (the recipe says 20 minutes but I took them off the heat before that because I was getting scared they would burn) (and actually before that I added two tablespoons of butter for the same reason!).

While that’s going on, take a cup of whole milk ricotta & an egg yolk, a little thyme, a pinch of salt & 1/4 cup of grated Parmesan cheese and mix them all together.  Spread that mixture evenly across the tart shell.
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Sprinkle the onions over the cheese mixture.
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Sprinkle a tablespoon of grated Parmesan cheese over the onions.  Then top with the crispy crumbled bacon.
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Then you bake it at 350° for 30-40 minutes (until the edge of the mixture starts to brown).

You might have to double check the recipe for the baking part because I haven’t put it in the oven yet so I might not have memorized that exactly… But I can’t wait!  I love bacon & onion together… And ricotta too?  Oh man, this is gonna be good!!!!

I was too excited to share this so that’s why I’m posting even before I’ve tried it.  How could it be bad?!?

Ok so I had to edit so I could tell you how unbelievably good this was!!!! It’s absolutely delicious… Heavenly actually!!! And to post pics after baking…
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Leftover Pie Crust Treats (Or… Pie Crust Bonbons!)

Leftover pie crust makes me happy!  So many possibilities… Should I create something savory or sweet? 

Today sweet won! 

I was thinking all yesterday and last night about what I could make with my leftover pie crust from the chicken pot pie the other day.  I couldn’t think of anything that spoke to me…

And then all of a sudden this morning an idea came to me!

I decided to make little ‘sandwiches’ (like cookie sandwiches) out of the pie crust dough.  I would fill them with frosting.  Yeah!

When I made them, I hadn’t yet figured out my whole plan – that’s why there are sprinkles on them. I don’t know why they don’t look round in the picture… I used the top of my nutmeg bottle so they would all be the same size and shape.  I wanted them to be small, like about an inch wide.

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I baked them for just 10 minutes @ 400°, which was about perfect.

Then I made a chocolate buttercream frosting to go in the middle.  They looked like little hamburgers!  I wish I’d taken a picture 😦

So they looked really cute and everything but they just didn’t seem finished yet… Then I thought it would be amazing if I dipped them in chocolate!  I didn’t have any chocolate but I did have white ‘chocolate’ chips.  In they went!

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They’re like little bonbons!  They taste amazing too!  Look at the inside…

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They’re sweet but not over the top sweet – and light and flaky!  Can you say YUM?!?