World’s Worst Pie Crust!

Even calling it pie crust is a huge stretch.  I don’t like calling out recipes that don’t turn out right for me but I checked and double checked myself on this one and I followed the recipe exactly.
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My usual pie crust is made with butter.  I love it, it’s perfect and I have no desire to ever use another.

That being said, I didn’t set out to make a pie crust with this recipe… The actual recipe is for ‘meat hand pies‘ so in order to achieve the best results, I was following the recipe to a “T”.  The only thing I can think that went wrong is that I didn’t chill the shortening first.  I know to do this with my butter crust recipe but since this recipe is different because it’s hand held pies, I thought maybe the flakiness factor would be different (and maybe I’m wrong but I thought the chilled butter made the crust flaky).  The recipe didn’t specify chilled shortening but maybe you’re just supposed to know that?

This crust worked perfectly in the food processor.  I drizzled the ice cold water in just like you’re supposed to and it clumped into a ball just like it’s supposed to.  I took it out, wrapped it in plastic wrap and chilled it.

When I took it out is when things got ugly.  I tried rolling it out but it wouldn’t roll.  It just tore.  I tried several times with no luck so I gave up on the idea of hand held meat pies.  I mashed it into a pie plate.  Literally.  Because that’s the only way I could do anything with it.  I took clumps and pieced it all together until the pie plate was covered.  I put the filling in and then, because there was no way I could cover it, I made it into strips and draped it on top. 

I was pretty proud of myself because even though it was ridiculous dough, I made it work.  The lattice on top wasn’t correct because I didn’t weave it but trust me, that stuff wasn’t going to let me do that!   I went ahead and baked it like normal, thinking regardless of how hard it was to work with, it would still taste decent.

Omg how wrong I was!!!  When I touched the baked dough, it pulverized!  It turned into sawdust all over the place.  It tasted nasty!  I had to pry the top off and then scoop out the meat filling so my family could eat.  (I cooked up some rice to toss the meat mixture on.) (I couldn’t just give them meat filling!)

That was one meal with a lot of transformations… Meat hand pies to pot pie to meat filling with rice!

Does anyone know if this is typical when working with shortening in a pie crust?  Or is that what happens when the shortening isn’t chilled?  Btw, the shortening I used was Crisco Baking Sticks (butter flavor).  I did check the package too and it’s fresh… Good until July 2015! 

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